Activities that Singles Can Do On Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 13, 2012 by admin

By Lisa Mueller, BA Psychology Intern

1) Surprise a child.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our daily chores that we forget that children need to be remembered too.  Teenagers often feel left out on Valentine’s Day.  Making someone happy (especially when its unexpected) has a euphoric effect on you too.  It’s happiness shared twice. 

2) Cheer someone up…a) send a heartfelt Valentine card to someone who has really inspired you and tell them how much they mean to you, b) make a homemade Valentine card and send it to a favorite relative that you haven’t seen in a while, c) send flowers or candy to someone who doesn’t have a sweetheart, and sign it anonymous, d) make a Valentine’s basket and send it to a family that has gone through a difficult time and sign it, From Your Guardian Angel, and e) take your little niece, nephew, or cousin out for ice cream. 

3) Volunteer…Valentine’s Day is all about love, and nothing spreads the love faster than a little volunteer work.  Find a place to volunteer or just spend some time with an elderly relative (nursing homes are great too).  After all, if you can’t find a date, you’d might as well make all of your romantically-inclined friends feel shallow. 

4) Take a yoga class…If you are feeling heartbroken this Valentine’s Day, a yoga class will literally teach you how to open your heart again.  And most instructors are totally patient with people who are brand new to the practice. 

5) Walk a foster puppy…If there aren’t any humans nearby who are looking for love, give your heart to someone of a different species.  Animal shelters often lend out their pups for a couple of hours of exercise (and if not, they might need your help at the shelter). 

6) Have a very comedy filled movie marathon…If you’re single, watching romantic movies on Valentine’s Day might put you in a bad mood.  Instead, get a group of friends together and have a laughing good time! Laughter also stimulates hormones that make you feel good!  

7) Make it a girl’s day.  Go out to lunch with your girlfriends, have a cup of coffee and chit-chat about boys, or do dinner with your other single gal-pals.  Valentine’s Day should only be about couples – it should be about love of all kinds.  And what better way to celebrate than the love you have for your pals. 

icon cool Activities that Singles Can Do On Valentines Day Hang out with family.  This seems to be a great retreat to any depressing occasion that you don’t want to or can’t partake in.  Sitting on mom and dad’s couch, for instance, will be so comforting.  Top it off with a cup of cocoa and you’ll just reminisce about the times you were young and could care less for Valentine’s. 

9) Since you aren’t spending money on a girl or guy, spend it on yourself.  Treat yourself to a massage, manicure, pedicure, or all three!  Don’t forget to take Mom, a sister, or a best pal along. 

10) Don’t be envious of other couples. Valentine’s – schmalentines.  Did you ever stop to think that a lot of those guys and girls out during the holiday may have lots of problems?  Just because they’re eating a meal together on February 14, doesn’t mean they’re happier than you.  In fact, some are propbably quite the opposite. 

11) Enjoy yourself.  No matter what you do on this day – or any day for that matter – always enjoy yourself.  You may not have that “other half” that attached people have, but does that mean your life is any less fabulous?  No way!  To each their own, and love your life. 

12) Spend the day celebrating True Love.  Not that junk they try to tell you will make you feel better – the real thing should be celebrated every day.  Go find a couple that have been married for a long time (think twenty, thirty years) and ask for stories of how they met and when they got married.  It will make you smile.

 

–Lisa Mueller is currently studying psychology at Liberty University. She is interning with HPPofGA and will be obtaining her degree in 2012.

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The Ability to Forgive

Posted on January 8, 2012 by admin

You may think that forgiving a person who has wronged you in some way means what was said or done to you is ok. This way of thinking causes many to hold on to unforgiveness for extended periods of time because they are not all right with what has happened and do not want to give the impression that all is well. Other times, the emotional and/or physical damage creates a scare so deep that the person who was wronged has a hard time finding the ability to forgive because they are too distracted by the internal damage. 

1“Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.” 

Forgiveness does not mean the other person is not responsible for their harmful actions toward you.  Forgiveness does not mean that you must stay in contact with that person if it was that serious. Forgiveness is your proclamation that “I will not continue to let you hold me emotionally captive!” 

2Results from experiments tracking the outcome of forgiveness interventions show that forgiveness:

  • leads to improved emotions 
  • lowers rate of psychiatric illness 
  • lowers physical stress responses (i.e. rising blood pressure) thereby improving physical well-being and leading to a greater sense of personal control 
  • facilitates the restoration of relationship closeness 

Holding unforgiveness is like swallowing poison. You are ingesting a substance that poisons the very container that is holding it, one cell at a time.

How to start your journey toward forgiveness:

  1. Evaluate the value of forgiveness and its benefits in your life. How might it change you and thereby those connected to you?
  2. Look at the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this has affected you mentally, physically and spiritually.
  3. When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person. Make a declaration to yourself that you are choosing to be free from emotional bondage and that past hurt will not hold you captive. Declare this as often as you need to.
  4. See yourself as victorious instead of filling the role of victim. 
  5. Seek continued support from friends, family, religious affiliation, or counseling professional.
1 Mayo Clinic
2 The results were presented at a workshop in 2006, “Forgiveness: Partnering with the Enemy”. This was co-sponsored by the American Psychological Association, the International Union of Psychological Science, the International Council of Psychology, and the Armenian International Women’s Association. http://www.apa.org/international/resources/forgiveness.pdf
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Exercise Can be a Preventative Activity in Depression.

Posted on November 30, 2011 by admin

by Crystal Bradshaw, LAPC

Depression is caused by an imbalance of the chemicals in our brain called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters contribute to our feelings of well-being, and when there is a decrease of these neurotransmitters we can be left with feelings of overwhelming hopelessness. Dopamine gives us a sense of pleasure, and with depression Dopamine levels are low; this explains why some individuals are unable to experience pleasure from previously pleasurable activities.

Ways Exercise Helps Alleviate Depression:

Studies continuously find that exercising for 30 to 40 minutes three times a week can combat depression by having an immediate effect on mood. The feelings of well-being that occur during and after a workout are caused by the release of our body’s natural painkillers, endorphins. Exercise also increases energy, improves sleep patterns, boost confidence and self-esteem as well as decreases stress and anxiety, all which contribute to mental health. It also creates a routine that exposes you to social situations which can elevate your mood. Exercise may also help keep depression from coming back once you are feeling good.

Keys to Success:

  • Don’t exercise alone. Having a partner will help keep you motivated.
  • View exercise as pleasurable vs. punitive.
  • Set small, realistic goals.
  • Set goals to your needs and abilities.
  • Establish a routine and stick with it.
  • View exercise as nourishment for your body.
  • Exercise to music that keeps you motivated.
  • Read or watch TV when using cardio machines.

If you are unable to afford a gym membership, take classes, or buy gym equipment, then consider doing an activity that does not require money, such as walk- ing with a friend or playing basketball with your kids. Broaden how you think of exercise and find ways to fit activity into your routine. Add small amounts of physical activity throughout your day like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, park a little farther way to fit in a short walk, or bike to work.

Consult:

Check with your doctor before starting a new exercise program. Your doctor will consider any medications you take and health conditions you have.  If you exercise regularly but depression symptoms still persist, see your doctor or other mental health provider. Exercise is a great way to ease symptoms of depression, but it is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medications or other treatment.

Think Outside The Box!

When it comes to exercise the key to success is to find what works for you. Do you gravitate towards group activities or prefer alone time? Do you like new things or prefer to stick with the basics?

Here are some activities to consider:

  • Pilates
  • Hot Yoga
  • Hiking
  • Martial Arts
  • Biking
  • Swimming
  • Rock Climbing
  • Dancing
  • Join a team: softball, tennis
  • Fencing Lessons
  • Racquetball
  • Kayaking
  • Zumba class
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Reduce Back to School Stress and Anxiety

Posted on August 15, 2011 by admin

Reduce Back to School Stress and Anxiety   

 

The next wave of children and adolescents are experiencing a new school year this month.  While starting a new school year can be stressful on parents it can also be a stressful time for children. New schools, teachers, classmates, subjects to study, grades, and getting from the locker to class before the bell rings. This time can be particularly overwhelming for children who are facing major transitions such as starting elementary school or entering middle or high school. As a parent there steps you can take to support your child as he or she heads back to school.

  • Let your child know it is ok to be nervous. Parents with younger children may let your child take a special object to school to make his or her surroundings more comfortable.

  • Attend school functions and stay involved in your child’s education. Children whose parents are more involved are at an advantage in the school performance and may have an easier time adjusting. 

  • Get to know how your child develops socially and emotionally by making time to talk with your child regularly. Make it a point to lay aside one-on-one time just for you and your child, that includes positive supportive statements that highlight the good in your child. If you are aware of what’s typical behavior and thoughts for your child’s stage of life, you will be able to tell more readily when things may not be right.

  • Encourage your child to become involved with school activities and try new things.

Anxiety and stress about starting school is normal for a child and usually passes within the first few days or weeks. If your child continues to seem anxious or stressed, it may be time to seek help.  If problems persist, consider reaching out to a trained and qualified mental health professional.

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Stress of Motherhood: The “S” on Your Chest

Posted on July 8, 2011 by admin

When the “S” on Your Chest Stands for STRESS
(How it affects your children and ways to handle it!)
 By Camille McDaniel, LPC, NCC, CPCS

25 420x340 screen shot 2011 07 07 at 10 38 21 pm Stress of Motherhood: The S on Your Chest

Wife, Sister, Friend, Aunt, Employee, Employer, Bottle Warmer, Diaper Changer, House Cook, Tear Wiper, Taxi Driver, Comforter… 

There are so many titles that moms have today, it’s no wonder a little stress (or A LOT) may fall your way.  I frequently meet moms who set rather high standards and goals for juggling all the titles they posses, in order to make sure everyone else is happy. After all, that’s what moms do right? Hmmm. When they are not able to meet these monumental goals, they are disappointed and stressed. 

Stress can come from many sources, in addition to constant high expectations of yourself. If by chance you are a mom that doesn’t have a strong support system to lean on then you may experience increased amounts of stress. 

The University of Rochester completed a study. They followed 169 diverse children for 3 years. The findings of their study were published in a journal called Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. The researchers discovered that continuous parent and family stress can increase strep infections and other illnesses in children.  It also appears that children effected by chronic parent and family stress experience and increase in their natural killer (NK) cell function. NK cell function is the part of the body’s immune system that prepares to kill germs that don’t belong, unlike adults, whose function is decreased with chronic stress.

So maybe chronic stress is good for my child since the immune system increases those natural killer cells right?  Well let’s put it this way, using the heart as an example. When you get into a situation that frightens you, your heart may start racing, pumping blood to all the organs needed to help you flee danger. However, if that heart doesn’t stop racing, over time it starts to exhaust it’s strength and wears down. That is true for the immune system functions too.

So how can you turn the S on your chest from STRESS to SERENITY? Well let’s try these 5 steps for starters:

Step 1 Secure a Support System – Some of you may have great supports but others may not be able to identify their supports as easily.  Friends, Family, Siblings, Online Friends, Social Groups, Religious Groups. Identify YOUR supports.

Step 2 Say No – It’s wonderful to be the person others can count on. It’s nice to volunteer when you see there is a need. However, it’s not really helping YOU if you are not being truthful with yourself about whether you really have the time and strength to do the task. Saying no should not be seen as a negative. If you are continuously stressing yourself out because you say yes, even when you really don’t have the time and/or resources, then it’s time to try a little “no”.

Step 3 Take Time Out During the Day- Daily, you should have “Mommy Time” to allow your mind and body to rejuvenate.  Whether it’s 15 minutes or an hour, the world will not stop if you take time for yourself but you and others can suffer if you don’t.

Step 4 Encourage Yourself – Positive self talk can have a great effect in regards to emotional well being. “I am doing a great job with the skills I have” “I didn’t get it right today but every second presents a new chance, let’s see what I can do differently tomorrow” “It’s ok if I don’t get things done like ____________, my pace works good for me and that’s ok” “Being a mom is no simple task and I’m doing it! I am some kind of awesome”.

Step 4 Face, Hair, and Dress – Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, taking care of your appearance can actually help you feel better about yourself. Tailor it to your style. Try a little lip gloss or lip stick. A different hair cut or style can help. Do your clothes make you feel good about you? Whether it’s the playground or the workplace take pride in your appearance and boost yourself up a few points.

Step 5 Laugh – It’s a simple little exercise but laughter has great healing and relaxing power. Essentially because it releases endorphins, a hormone that acts as a natural pain and stress reliever.  Laugh at yourself,  get a good comedy dvd and watch it, call one of your supports and act silly, get creative and laugh.

 

 

 

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How to Strengthen Family Communication and Relationships

Posted on June 19, 2011 by admin

Our lives are filled with so many activities, each one demanding our undivided attention. Work, school, friends, social activities, Twitter updates, Facebook…

In the midst of these activities, how much time do you make for family, children, and/or significant others?  If you are feeling overwhelmed and wish you could clone yourself several times to accomplish everything, consider the following:

1. Set boundaries that you can stick to!  If work ends at 5pm but people are still calling you 24/7 when do you need to stop answering work calls? (Hint the answer is not 10pm but maybe it’s 5pm or 6pm)

2. Consider your family goals.  Is your goal to provide for your family? There are many ways to provide, other than financial. How you are providing when it comes to emotional and intellectual needs? How often do you just sit and listen to the members of the family share their day, play a game, watch a movie, go for a walk, just laugh?

**If you have never heard the Harry Chapin song, “Cats in the Cradle” I suggest you listen and read the lyrics. Putting off your family today could lay the foundation for them to mimic you in the future.

3.Take personal time to relax.  What is that? You don’t have time to relax? You feel lazy if you allow yourself to rest?

Taking personal time is a great way to restore balance to your day and all you need is at least the time it takes for a lunch break. During this time evaluate your daily and weekly goals. Think about where you need more balance in your day or week and make adjustments.

 

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TOP 5 Reasons to Invest in Seeing a Therapist

Posted on June 3, 2011 by admin

Who hasn’t experienced hard times, when they were feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of life? Many of us have learned different ways of resolving those overwhelming feelings. Retail therapy anyone? Food? Work more? Drinking? Lashing out at others? Depending on friends and family to help you solve it? At times we have taken part in a few of these options.

There are so many ways that we invest our time and money in trying to find solutions that will help us feel better. Often times the effects of these stress relievers lasts for a moment and doesn’t get to the true issue(s) going on. Sometimes we fail to realize that many of these temporary fixes lead to other problems: Debt, Health Issues, Isolation from family and friends, Addiction, Damaged relationships. Have you tried a more permanent relief to your challenges? Try seeing a therapist.
21 250x200 counseling help TOP 5 Reasons to Invest in Seeing a Therapist
Let us give you 5 reasons why seeing a therapist is one of the best ways to help you enhance your quality of life.

1. Release the weight of holding on to private issues and struggles all by yourself. Your therapist would listen and support you in the process of releasing that weight and helping you discover ways to move on.
2. Learn more about your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so that you can be more aware of how you effect yourself and the world around you. This may help you establish techniques to reach the goals you have for your life.
3. Help you to understand the people in your life better, create better connections with them, and/or learn how to set stronger boundaries with them.
4. As you continue to learn more about yourself and the world around you, you have the potential to increase peace of mind, comfort, and sense of security.
5. REDUCE Stress, Sadness, Fear, Grief, Addiction, Anger and INCREASE Understanding, Peace, Joy, Laughter, Self value
worth.

Investing in your own mental health can have effects that outreach any temporary fix!

 

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First Step

Posted on June 3, 2011 by admin

This is our first blog!  We hope you enjoy coming here to read about counseling topics and how taking care of your mind and emotions are just as important as taking care of your physical health.

There will also be helpful information on all the areas of focus represented by the therapist’s in this practice.  So the blogging journey begins…

Always,

Team Healing! thumbs picture 3 First Step

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