Boundaries have been defined as “something that shows where an area ends and another area begins”.  Another definition states, “unofficial rules about what should not be done : limits that define acceptable behavior”.

Boundaries can be small or big.  For example, deciding that you will stop eating when your brain receives a message that it’s full is a boundary.  Letting your friend know that you cannot loan them money again, although you have the amount but not the ability to not be paid back again, is a boundary.  Giving your child a bedtime is a boundary.  Disagreeing with someone without demeaning them on purpose is a boundary.

So what happens when we fall into a trap of having loose or no boundaries?  Glad you asked.

We can create a lot of negative emotional build up for ourselves.  We start to essentially build our own prison because we don’t feel comfortable being honest and forthcoming about what we can realistically handle and not handle.  See, we sometimes ignore the voice within that tells us we are not comfortable doing something because we do not want to inconvenience someone else or we do not want them to look at us in an unfavorable light.

When you have gotten to a point where having loose boundaries or having none at all starts interfering with your personal peace, you may seek support to get a plan of action developed and get back on track.  Starting the process is often the hardest part.  However, freedom from unhealthy boundaries is possible.